We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
