i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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