Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
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If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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