people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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