Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
