yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
