Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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