No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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