i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize