don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize