He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize