Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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