Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I love you.
Bad choice
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
