In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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