How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Non-Jews are for practice
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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