I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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