none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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