these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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