did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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