I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
