I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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