I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
