saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
