I smell stomach acid.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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