i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize