That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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