I think im going to throw up on grandma
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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