did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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