I seem to have left my pride at pride
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Randomize
