I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
