i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Barsexuality is the new black.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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