By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
