so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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