I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
