hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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