shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Is it because I queefed?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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