...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
