I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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