I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
