He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
