I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize