He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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