I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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