Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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