I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize