I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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