So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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