I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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