Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
