i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
