Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
