i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
