Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize