My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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