im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
