Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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