Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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