remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
