PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
